(Over)thoughts | A glimpse into the chaos.

Desires

Posted on July 29 2017 by J.W. Richmond

His imagination
is vast
incredible
incomprehensible.

He makes
magnificent things
and turns drab
dirty
filth
into beauty.

He knows me –
even when I don’t fully
know myself.

And He wants to give me
good things –
even when I don’t understand why
or deserve them.

His plans
are so much bigger
than anything
I could create
or realize.

He fulfills deep desires
with brilliant outcomes
that are better
than imaginable.

Maybe He will fulfill mine,
even if I’m not fully clear
on what they all are
yet.

I desperately
want to believe
He will.

Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the LORD
and wait patiently for him…
For the LORD loves the just
and will not forsake his faithful ones.
– Psalm 37:3-7a, 28 (NIV95)

Warning

Posted on June 30 2017 by J.W. Richmond

No U-Turn

It’s coming
imminent
impending.

Each second
counts
down
  precarious
   l
       y
and
quickly.

The warning is scrawled
on the wall.

Get out!

Find the smallest opening
the tiniest crack
the slightest loophole
and never look back.

It’s time to fly
and fight
what destroys.

Regardless of how,
do what you need
to leave now.

Because if not now,
it won’t be
by choice.

Projected

Posted on June 10 2017 by J.W. Richmond

Tightrope

Sometimes I think
everyone thinks
I am in my sweet spot
lucky spot
convenient
perfect place,
while I’m lying here
dying here
maybe already dead
from the pace,
of this race
sus pended
stuck
trapped
curled up
in my disgrace
‘cause I can’t be
what’s expected
what’s projected.
I might never be
anything
anyone
quotable
notable
maybe even lovable.
But is it all subjective?
I know I am not objective.
Ev.ery.thing.
depends on perspective
and I know mine is skewed.
I only see
from my view
and I could never change me
into you.

Fish

Posted on April 29 2017 by J.W. Richmond

Googley Doodley Doo

What began
as a simple fish
became a big fail,
so it morphed into
an almost-whale,
until a bird emerged,
feathers and tail,
a disproportioned,
un
balanced
pale comparison,
yet on some scale
appears similar
to the creature
it resembles,
apart from the details.

Bookend

Posted on March 31 2017 by J.W. Richmond

Maybe by
w a s t i n g
time
trying something new
I can begin to
unlock
what’s been
blocked,
approach the character
in a different way,
not only learning to think
and perceive things
like she would,
but attempting to do
some of the things
she does,
and finally
bookend
the story.

Dismissed

Posted on February 27 2017 by J.W. Richmond

Did you never see me
at all
or did you look
past me –
dismissing everything
I vied for
strived for
and wished I could be
as simple
childish
reverie?

Maybe I was silly
to think
you ever believed
in me.

After so much time,
I’ve lost sight
of why I even try –
why you don’t
just say goodbye.

Yes, I was naïve
to think
you ever believed
in me.

Between all the tears I cry
and in between
each fine,
everything I find
is a lie.

I was foolish
to think
you ever believed
in me.

Checked

Posted on January 29 2017 by J.W. Richmond

I didn’t check off
any of my boxes
today.

I didn’t finish
any of the things
I had planned.

But my time
was spent even better
than I expected.

I checked off
hours
with a friend –
and not just
a friend,
but someone I needed
to be with today,
someone I’ve been missing,
someone I’ve known for a while
but not forever,
who still manages
to know me
in a way
others don’t,
who sees the grit
in the depth
and the crud
even in the shallows,
and never judges me
for either.

And she was exactly who
and what
I needed.

For Cambria.

Memorable

Posted on October 30 2016 by J.W. Richmond

Memories in a Bottle

One small
thin, red bottle vase
on the shelf
brings me
back
to that night
of a bonfire
in an opening
in a field.

I can smell the smoke
of the cigarettes
as the group walked
beneath the stars
toward the just-lit fire
illuminating the dark
surrounding us.

There was a boy there,
who I liked from a distance
but hardly knew.
He may have said hi.
I’m not even sure of that.
Nothing ever happened,
and I know nothing
of him now.

A night of friends
almosts
and maybes
having fun,
wasting and
spending time
together.

Just another night.

I don’t even recall
the significance
of the vase itself,
but every now and then
there is a spark
of reminiscence
when I see it
that brings me
back
to that memorable,
insignificant night.

Shut

Posted on September 24 2016 by J.W. Richmond

From Everywhere and Nowhere

He yell-screamed
shouted
then spoke in strong
low tones,
trying to keep it together
in his frustration
disdain
and
contempt
as he went right to the source
and twisted it shut.

But her fear
longing
sadness
and
anguish
continued to drip
drip
d
r
i
p
until even her laughter
empathy
and
compassion
irritated him
annoyed him
boiled him
from the inside.

Raw emotion continued
to leak out,
and he could taste
the vile tenderness of it
as he became
angrier
and
angrier
every
second.

The final turn
screeched
and moaned
and begged at him
as he forced it
anyway,
shutting her off
with everything in him –
with the seething hatred
he felt
toward the one he claimed
to love.

Kindred

Posted on August 31 2016 by J.W. Richmond

It’s the silliest thing
and it’s always
the silliest place
to think of her,
but it’s also the perfect
pause
to remind me
of the wild girl
in the crazy
amazing woman
she is now.

We were kindred,
then distanced
through time
and circumstance.

It’s hard to remember now
the things we agreed on then,
but I’m certain
there were many,
and there must be some still.

Though life
and time
have separated us
in addition to the miles,
I refuse to believe
we are that far apart,
because there is so much more
that binds us.

After all,
we are kindred.