Bookend

Maybe by
       w a s  t   i    n   g
              time
       trying something new
           I can begin to
                       unlock
                           what’s been
                       blocked,
                       approach the character
                            in a different way,
                                 not only learning to think
                                                        and perceive things
                                                          like she would,
                                          but attempting to do
                                                   some of the things
                                                                she does,
                                                         and finally
                                                              bookend
                                                                  the story.
 

Dismissed

Did you never see me
                          at all
      or did you look
                              past me –
      dismissing everything
              I vied for
                strived for
         and wished I could be
                 as simple
                     childish
                          reverie?

Maybe I was silly
  to think
      you ever believed
           in me.

After so much time,
   I’ve lost sight
       of why I even try –
           why you don’t
                 just say goodbye.

Yes, I was naïve
  to think
      you ever believed
           in me.

Between all the tears I cry
     and in between
                  each fine,
       everything I find
                    is a lie.

I was foolish
  to think
      you ever believed
           in me.

Checked

I didn’t check off
   any of my boxes
            today.

I didn’t finish
   any of the things
            I had planned.

But my time
   was spent even better
            than I expected.

I checked off
   hours
      with a friend –
          and not just
             a friend,
      but someone I needed
           to be with today,
            someone I’ve been missing,
            someone I’ve known for a while
                                   but not forever,
              who still manages
                     to know me
                         in a way
                            others don’t,
               who sees the grit
                        in the depth
                     and the crud
                even in the shallows,
                       and never judges me
                            for either.

And she was exactly who
                        and what
                              I needed.

 

For Cambria.

Memorable

Memories in a Bottle
Memories in a Bottle

One small
       thin, red bottle vase
                on the shelf
           brings me
      back
        to that night
                of a bonfire
                      in an opening
                      in a field.

I can smell the smoke
      of the cigarettes
           as the group walked
                     beneath the stars
                toward the just-lit fire
                        illuminating the dark
                           surrounding us.

There was a boy there,
      who I liked from a          distance
              but hardly knew.
He may have said hi.
      I’m not even sure of that.
Nothing ever happened,
      and I know nothing
                       of him now.

A night of friends
               almosts
         and maybes
            having fun,
            wasting and
            spending time
                together.

Just another night.

I don’t even recall
      the significance
        of the vase itself,
   but every now and then
      there is a spark
        of reminiscence
                   when I see it
               that brings me
       back
         to that memorable,
                   insignificant night.

Shut

From Everywhere and Nowhere
From Everywhere and Nowhere

He yell-screamed
    shouted
    then spoke in strong
                       low tones,
    trying to keep it together
      in his frustration
              disdain
                 and
              contempt
          as he went right to the source
              and twisted it shut.

But her fear
           longing
           sadness
              and
           anguish
    continued to drip
                      drip
                      d
                      r
                      i
                      p               
      until even her laughter
                          empathy
                             and
                          compassion
              irritated him
              annoyed him
              boiled him
                 from the inside.

Raw emotion continued
  to leak out,
    and he could taste
       the vile tenderness of it
          as he became
                 angrier
                   and
                 angrier
                   every
                   second.

The final turn
             screeched
      and moaned
      and begged at him
                  as he forced it
                          anyway,
                      shutting her off
                          with everything in him –
                          with the seething hatred
                              he felt
                                   toward the one he claimed
                                              to love.

Kindred

It’s the silliest thing
   and it’s always
    the silliest place
            to think of her,
   but it’s also the perfect
                 pause
            to remind me
              of the wild girl
              in the crazy
                       amazing woman
                             she is now.

We were kindred,
       then distanced
                through time
                     and circumstance.

It’s hard to remember now
   the things we agreed on then,
      but I’m certain
                 there were many,
          and there must be some still.

Though life
     and time
           have separated us
                   in addition to the miles,
   I refuse to believe
                   we are that    far      apart,
      because there is so much more
            that binds us.

After all,
   we are kindred.

Independence

Revolutionary Imperfection
Revolutionary Imperfection

I am the last person who should be writing about this.

I hate history
  and politics
  and government
  and <bored!> I’m seriously already putting myself to sleep
    because I probably wouldn’t have even clicked on this link to begin with.

But that irony is not lost on me. And neither is this one: When given the chance earlier this year, Britain voted to leave the EU. They didn’t have to go to war to do it, but it sounds a lot like 1776 to me.

America fought for, then voted and won their freedom from England’s rule, and now Britain wants to be independent as well. We may not have anticipated the results of that vote, but I’m not sure why we’re shocked at the concept.

Regardless of where you stand,
               of your opinion
                  your view
                  your perspective,
        think of how far we have come.

America had to go to war to gain independence.

Britain voted for their independence.

When America became a nation, women weren’t allowed to vote, and people of color weren’t even treated as an entire person. [Insert overflowing disgust/poop emoticon here.]

We still have a long way to go. But we are at least coming closer to accepting what our founding fathers said to begin with: that we are all created equal (even if they said “men” and blah, blah, blah, yeah, yeah, I know).

Wherever you stand on Britain or the increasingly divisive U.S., Brexit is a reminder that voting matters. It makes a difference.

You may not agree with anyone entirely.
You may not agree with your party’s choice
     (if you even choose a party to begin with).
You may not want to choose
     the lesser evil
            or between any of the slimy
                                            icky options.

And yes, your vote for one candidate or another may be silenced by the majority in your state. But the candidates themselves are only part of the whole. Judges that may eventually be appointed by those candidates are a really big deal. And those arbitrarily numbered propositions are important too (well, most of them, at least).

You may not vote on every single item on the ballot, but take a moment and do a little research. And listen to that Jiminy Cricket whispering to you that you may have been muting for a while.

Freedom isn’t free. We were rewarded freedom from people who gave their lives for us to experience it, and those people deserve our respect. Their lives mattered. Not voting only moves us backward. Use what they gave us to make your vote matter too.

Maddening

The Longest Day
The Longest Day

It’s stealing your pulse
     darkening your soul.

The only illusion
     is that you are whole.

The truth is maddening
                 frightening
                 brightening
              blinds you
         until you can no longer see
              binds you
         until you can no longer leave.

You are trapped
            paralyzed
            shackled
            confined
            caught in the sun
         no matter which way
                  you run.

Unraveled

Loosely Tethered
Loosely Tethered

The edges
   were beginning to bend
                              blur
                                and
                              blend
                  into the background
           as if they

              weren’t


              even

              there.

She had never given much thought to
      string theory before,
     but as she started to see
        the attached parts
                    slip
                        and
                                 separate freely,
        she could understand the spaghetti
             of how they were formed
                    and once used to fit,
                 encircling each other
                      even though ends
                                        beginnings
                                        middles
                                        centers
                                             were now torn.

As they
                split
       shredded
            u
                n
             r
          a
             v
                  e
                l
              e
                  d
     it suddenly
        made sense again.

What once belonged together
     and theoretically still should
          had been ripped       apart
                   from within.

101

She was always a speedy blur
           ahead of you
                    just out of reach
      heading toward something
                          or someone
                                  unseen.

Looking forward
  to her 99th birthday,
    she said a party could wait
           until the next year.

That was just like her:
  always moving
  always going
  always on the go
    but never in a hurry
                   to go.

“I never planned
  to live this long,”
    she said,
      at 101 years old.

None of us do.

But loving her God
         and her family
              deeply,
      she lived
         those years so well.

And I’m not sure
  anyone will ever be able
           to catch up to her.


For Meme.