When your knowledge shifts
spins your known world upside down,
what do you believe?
A haiku.
Shifts
Zacchaeus
Zacchaeus
had a unique name
unique story
and some peculiar ways
of doing things.
He may have been
a bit quirky
but he knew
what was important
what he valued
and he sought Jesus out.
He went
where he knew
Jesus would walk by
and climbed a tree
just to see Him.
He probably never thought
Jesus would notice him
or know he was there,
but he went anyway
just for a small glimpse
of Him
over the crowds
of other people.
And Jesus
saw Zacchaeus
as He was walking by
and went to him
and made plans
to hang out with him later,
and Zacchaeus welcomed Him
gladly.
That’s all it took
for Zacchaeus
to change his life
to give to the poor
to make amends
restitution
for his wrongs,
and follow Jesus
from that point on,
all because Jesus
saw him and
paid attention
to him.
As silly
as it may have seemed
to others,
Zacchaeus was searching
for Jesus
because Jesus
meant so much to him
that he didn’t care
what others thought.
He was so focused
on Jesus
that nothing else
mattered.
Zacchaeus was lost
without Him,
and Jesus
found him
and met him
where he was,
up in a tree.
Luke 19:1-10
Hoppity
Seemingly
carefree,
they settle in
wait
and see.
Transparent ears
alert to hear.
Many in sync.
Do they ever blink?
Tall
and
small
playing
feasting
Hope
Even when
I don’t know
what you’re doing
what your plan is
or if I’m a part of it…
Even when
I don’t know
my next step
or what tomorrow
looks like
or if there will be
a tomorrow…
Even when
I am directionless
wandering
wayfinding
or lost…
Even when
I don’t hear you
see you
feel you
or wonder if
you hear me,
I still
need you
seek you
worship you
and
praise you.
My hope
is in you
because you
are faithful.
For you, O Lord, are my hope,
my trust, O LORD, from my youth.
– Psalm 71:5 (ESV)
O God, be not far from me
– Psalm 71:12a (ESV)
But I will hope continually
and will praise you yet more and more.
– Psalm 71:14 (ESV)
Curious
It’s amazing
what you find
when you are
curious –
when you don’t let
your current reality
remain
the only real thing
in front of you
when you choose to
explore
imagine
(or both!)
when you allow yourself
to wonder
what could be
what might be
what else
is there
that you can’t see
because when you do
you open yourself up
to a whole other world
of perspectives
possibilities
opportunities
discoveries
you never
would have known
were already there.
Goodsprings
Off the main highway
on a l o n g
two-lane road
sits Goodsprings,
a historic ghost town
in the desert.
This part of Nevada wasn’t glitzy
polished
vibrant
glamourous
showy.
It was more like
stepping back
in time
or onto
a movie set.
For Jeff,
it was also like
entering
a video game world
since the Pioneer Saloon
was featured in Fallout.
What a fun detour
I never would have known
was there
if he hadn’t suggested it.
Glance
Splotches, Blotches, and Lines
At a glance,
you may only see
a mess
of flaws
imperfection
inconsistency.
But take a step
back
and a bigger picture
emerges
of something intentional
designed –
maybe even
beautiful.
327.4xFQ*
Conundrum
“The personality test portion of your evaluation, uh, well, it displayed an error.”
The man—Dixon Powell, Head of Actuarial Employment for the Gorman Group, a company that prided itself on integrating technology with empathy—stood over her, his wavy dark hair covering his ears as his shadow covered the surface of the table.
At four-foot-eleven, Ellys was used to being the shortest in any room, but the way he engulfed the office, she felt like she was sitting at kindergarten-level height. The lack of windows in the room underscored the claustrophobic setup.
“An error?” she asked, sitting up as straight in the chair as she could.
“Affirmative. The program said your evaluation could not be completed with the information you provided. A code 327.4xFQ* or, well, anyway, there isn’t a precise explanation for the error, but I have seen it occur when there are too many contradictions.”
“Contradictions,” Ellys repeated.
“Indeed,” said Dixon Powell. “Perhaps you chose answers that don’t coincide. You’re not a match for any of the options or you selected your answers randomly, which led to the result of inconclusive or, uh, an error.”
“I could try taking it again,” Ellys offered, running her hand through her shoulder-length auburn hair.
Dixon Powell paused, adjusting the glasses on his nose. “Regardless of the cause, you don’t belong here with us.”
“Even though I’ve put in the work? Proven that I can do the job? I’ve been here for three years and have been promoted twice.”
“Computers don’t lie. It’s all right here. Black and white.”
“But you don’t even know the error,” said Ellys. “Maybe it didn’t have anything to do with my answers. Maybe it wasn’t psychological. Maybe it was electrical or mechanical. Maybe it malfunctioned.”
“There’s no malfunction,” he scoffed. “The computer is intended to remove all human bias. What it says goes.”
“But it was inconclusive. You said so yourself.”
“Ah, but in its inconclusion, the answer is clear. If it’s not a yes, it’s a no.” Dixon Powell was practically smiling at the statement he seemed to think was profound.
“And we must now ask you to pack up your things. You have five minutes to do so before you are escorted out of the building.”
The Gorman Group. No soft skills needed.
She had just been fired over a computer error. An error no one could explain, yet an inconclusion was considered a solid conclusion.
As she walked back to her desk to pack up her things—her sweater, some mints, her lunch, and her purse—she was a mix of confused and relieved. Who would want to work for a company that handled people in such a haphazard way? Without logic or empathy.
Although, as she thought about it more, the company hired people similarly. Their resume system hacked people into pieces and put them back together into a short summary that left out their humanity, which often led to the Gorman Group never interviewing the best candidates. They were tossed out on one technicality or another, and Ellys had pointed that out on a few occasions.
She thought she had been lucky to make it past the system. But maybe that had been an error too.
Unclear about her next career move, but not entirely sad to leave the Gorman Group, she waved goodbye to her coworkers. A few ventured quick waves back but most kept their heads down, staring at their computers.
Following the security guard to the glass elevator with the beautiful view of the city, Ellys recalled Dixon Powell’s tiny windowless office and chuckled to herself about the conflicting architecture of the building as the guard pressed the button for the lobby.
327.4xFQ*… She could put it on a T-shirt. And she would wear it proudly.
Trudge
Every path
is unclear.
Even crossroads
disappear.
Did I oversteer
interfere
mishear?
Or am I near?
One
more
step
then the step
after that
soggy
or
rocky
s
t
e
e
p
or flat.
Am I going
the right way?
Are these steps today
the same as yesterday?
Am I merely sauntering
pondering
w a n d e r i n g
around
in the background
waiting
to be found?
I pray
read
and
plead
to know
where to go
where to be.
Am I moving
forward
toward
His lead?
Searching
for a signal
call
type of sign
storyline
dividing line
or
land mine,
I’m willing to learn
prepared to
turn.
In the silence
I continue to trudge
through the dust
dirt
and
sludge
attempting to discern
any subtle nudge
inflection
connection
or
correction
toward any direction.
Monday
As I left the house on the first Monday of the new year, schools weren’t back in session yet, so I figured it would be an easier commute since there should be less traffic than usual. I exited our neighborhood and drove up to the intersection as the lefthand turn light – in the lane I was headed to – turned red.
I merged over and sat in that left lane for the entire cycle until it would be my turn.
North-south straights.
East-west turns.
East-west straights.
Then the entire cycle skipped me. No north-south turns. It started all over on north-south straights, as if I were on a bicycle, or standing in the road, or if I weren’t even there at all.
I moved forward slightly toward the crosswalk and then waited through the entire cycle. Again.
North-south straights.
East-west turns.
East-west straights.
No north-south turns.
The signal skipped over me.
Again.
The light going straight stayed green long enough that I was able to signal, change lanes, go straight through the intersection, and make a U-turn back to the same light to then turn right.
Eventually, I made it to work.
The day did not improve.
Multiple apps I attempted to use refused to cooperate. They crashed or chose not to save anything I was working on, without displaying an error or reason or solution, just like the traffic light.
I found no known error for why the apps wouldn’t work correctly and identified no clear error on my part.
Sign out.
Sign back in.
Turn off.
Turn back on.
When the printer wouldn’t connect for a coworker, I turned it off and back on again and got one small victory for the day when it suddenly decided to cooperate!
I wish I could say the day got better for me or I had some insightful revelation or my attitude changed toward life despite all the crap, but none of that happened.
Instead, I limped through the day, trying and fighting as much as I could to make any of the things work that all seemed to be working against me.
I did not finish my to-do list. It just got longer from things that were added.
When I finally left work, frustrated and defeated, I hit every red light home.
But none of the cycles skipped me. So maybe that was a win?