Maintenance

The trim around the outside of the house faded first.

It hadn’t been that bad, really. Everything blended together from the sun so the siding and the trim melded into a bland, mushy, oatmeal beige.

The edges of the trim continued the trend, color fleeing from the pieces, leaving the exposed wood.

They should have known something was wrong when the living room blinds quit operating properly. The strings had bound up, some had broken, and they could no longer be opened. Rather than doing repairs or purchasing a replacement, they ignored the issue, leaving the room without daylight.

They should have been aware that they weren’t keeping up with the maintenance. But both of them were focused on other things. Preoccupied.

There were work deadlines to meet and promotions to land and baseball games and science projects. Their lives were hijacked because no one else would care about their schedules or their lives or their home. They had to make their life together a priority – the priority. But they didn’t.

Inoperable blinds led to cobwebs behind doorways, shoe-scuffed walls, burned-out lightbulbs that were never replaced, and once-vibrant flowers wilting and dying in the yard. The front door warped, swelling from the winter rain and persistent beating of the sun, so they had to enter and exit through the garage. Weeds overtook the grass, grew through the cracks in the driveway, and sprung from the rain gutters above the front windows.

When the wind blew hard, pieces of the trim broke even further, continuing to disintegrate until they broke off and cluttered the ground, leaving areas on the side of the house with old wood and spots of primer left in their place. The stucco on the back of the house cracked and crumbled, losing its texture along with its color.

It used to be beautiful. Simple but envious in its simplicity and warmth. A sleet grey exterior with the meticulously chosen shade of white trim. Not too bright and not too close in hue. Perfect for them.

The sun continued to beat on the house, determined to break everything about it. The wood became brittle. Someone could touch it with their finger and it would collapse into a misshapen finger-sized hole. Hollow. Empty.

Shingles shifted and fell from the roof. Siding softened and rotted. Water damaged the walls and floors as mold and mildew grew in the unattended spaces. It was particularly noticeable around the chimney – the part meant to keep the household warm and cozy.

From a combination of unkindness, poor decisions, and neglect, the entire structure was in disrepair. Jagged. Frayed. Maybe even irreparable.

They thought they were keeping their private life between themselves, but the house didn’t make that distinction or agree to the deal. And the house wasn’t subtle.

Attempts

Could my many
          failed attempts
             someday mean
             something?

Could they possibly
       matter
             somehow?

Maybe even
         lead to
             something useful
                            interesting
                            intriguing
             something of value?

Vantage

It’s helpful
     enlightening
     inspiring
              to switch      views

                  change
                         p
                         e
                         r
                         s
                         p
                         e
                         c
                         t
                         i
                         v
                         e
                         s
         to see things
                              differently.

Whether it’s the angle
                        viewpoint
                        time of day
                        season
                        light
                    or lack of light
     stepping back
                       to see a    w  i  d  e  r    shot
              rather than a myopic focus

                                                       or zooming in
                             to see the particulars
                                           details
                                           minutiae,

                 every vantage point
                        brings knowledge
                                       and
                             an understanding
                                  that a previous      perspective
                                                    did not.

Artwork

I love when the clouds
     are so low
          that they

                        float

                in between the hills
                               and mountains.

The misty
      airy
      light fog
                seeks its way
                            through the trees
                                  and it’s incredible
                                             magical.

We watched the clouds get denser
          as we traveled closer
                    and then
              we got to drive
                          right through them –
                                               dreamlike
                                               surreal
                                               breathtaking.

I always enjoy seeing
     how God paints the sky
                    with the clouds.

What a particularly neat experience
     that He brought
          elements of the sky
                    toward us
                so we could
                           travel through
                                that day’s artwork!

Pinks

He used a mix of pinks
                  and purples
        against the blue
       in the early yellow
                        orangey sun.

Such a startling contrast
              to the blinding summer –
       a beautiful
          unique sight
                     on an October morning.

When you can actually see
              the sky,
        it's incredible to experience
              how specifically He paints it!
 

Sun

This haze
   this hole
        no exit
        no control

You’re sinking
          stuck
   no way to know
       which
           way
                is
                   up

Crawling in glue
        it’s deja vu
   this returning hell
             in its yearly spell

Unbending
         neverending
     it’s blinding
         binding
             not worth fighting

It’s incapable
   of remorse
You’ll be
   torched
   scorched
        in its force

It’s diabolical
   straight illogical

Cracking streets
    in its rotting heat
      it   re a  c  h   e  s
                 pulls
                     sucks   your     soul

It steals life
        with delight

It’s not your brain
You’re not insane

It’s not the end – 
      not again

It hasn’t won
It’s just the sun
    just the sun
    just
    the
    sun

Adventuring

I love
     adventuring
          with him
     exploring new things
                   new places
        and returning
                   to places
                           we loved
     remembering previous experiences
         and creating new ones.

It’s not always perfect
          of course
     and it’s not always easy.

But I enjoy
       spending time
          with him
             and just
       being
          with him.

Whips

The wind
                pushes     its way in
     bullies the tree limbs
         w
              h
                    i
                p
              s
           the branches around
     and shakes the leaves off
          making it appear to be
               much cooler outside
                          than it is
     while the intense heat
          forces its way
               toward us
               enveloping us
               kicking up dust
                      and debris
                causing the air quality to
                    p
                    l
                    u
                    m
                    m
                    e
                    t
     as hell moves in
               again

Hear

I have no desire
     to      fill      up      the      space
               with my words
          when there is no reason
               to say
                  anything.

No one else
     needs to hear
          me say something
                    just to hear it
        and I don’t
           need to hear
                my own voice
                    just because.

I speak up
     when
       or
     if there is something
          worth saying
                        or
                    hearing.

But if nothing
     needs to be said,
          others can contribute their part
              or
          we can just
                     let the silence be
                        and enjoy
                            the breath
                                       it gives us all.

Middles

Beginnings
     are tough

                    Endings can be
                             maddening

Sometimes I            rush

           through

           the

           m
           i
           d
           d
           l
           e
           s

           get everything      out there

     then
          revise
                         r
                            e
                       a
                         r
                            r
                        a
                            n
                              g
                           e
                                 redo

     or read through it
           and delete
                   all of it
                   (or want to)

     start over
           with another rough
              beginning

     reconstruct
     rinse
     repeat
          as needed