He spent more time on his hair than any guy or girl I had every known. His multiple earrings and eyebrow ring prompted my dad’s response when first meeting him, “You’ve got a lot of hardware in your head.”
Clay didn’t have a car, but he did have a job. He shared an apartment with a guy who thought it was important to learn how to drive under the influence so you wouldn’t cause any problems if and when you did drive after you had way, way too much of whatever.
When a friend introduced me to Clay, I thought he was way out of my league, and I never expected to see him again.
Later that same day I got a message from him saying he knew it was probably too soon to call, but he wanted to see me again. How could I not call him back?
He had a hard past with a lot of neglect and abuse, many ex-girlfriends he still kept in touch with and a very strained relationship with his dad. He told me he was actually much closer to a previous set of foster parents who attended the same church he went to.
My skeptical parents aside, my friends all liked him and thought we were great together. Sex was an early conversation. It didn’t become an issue. At least it wasn’t for me. It had been a common theme in my previous breakups – me waiting, I mean. But he promised to wait this time too, until marriage. That was a huge step for him and for us.
When he said he loved me, of course I said it back. How could I not?
I hadn’t prayed about being with him, but it was getting serious. Is he who you want for me? Just please make it clear.
His voice was weird when he called and asked me to come over to his place. I knew something wasn’t right.
“I’ve fallen out of love with you.”
I didn’t even understand his statement. Maybe I was naïve, but we were committed. We had something more than what he felt like at the moment. Love was so much more than this. Love meant so much more than this. But not to him.
With that, he was done.
And with that, my prayer was answered.
I’m not sure I like your sense of humor sometimes. But He had made it clear, just as I had asked. Just not how I wanted Him to.
Not long after, I found out Clay had gotten another girl pregnant. A married girl, Daniela. Her husband, John, was a coworker of mine, and the dude was devastated.
If God hadn’t made everything clear enough at that point, I ended up meeting Daniela’s parents one night when they came to see John. They seldom heard from her, and when they found out I had dated Clay, wanted to know everything they could about him.
What could I say? “I hardly knew him.”
*Names have been changed.
