The chair was uncomfortable, severe, and not what she expected it to be. Not that she knew what to expect, exactly.
She probably should have assumed the chairs would be stiff, upright and rigid, like lawyers generally were. But shouldn’t divorce attorneys try to make you feel calm and safe, like you could trust them?
Maybe it wasn’t this office; maybe it was just her. She didn't know what to expect from anything anymore.
She had thought he was the love of her life. They loved the same foods and the same music, they had an almost identical DVD collection, they had fun together, they had great chemistry, and he made an effort to play with her son and help him with his homework. She was pretty sure that had attracted her to him more than anything else.
But things changed after they got married. He became very distant. He worked all the time, and he didn’t get her, didn’t understand her, and didn’t seem to care. He always cut her off when she talked; clearly, what she had to say was unimportant to him. He always had to have the last word, always had to be right, and never apologized for anything he said or did. When he yelled at her, she would find herself yelling back, just trying to be heard. But he never heard her.
His words were sharp, and they kept sinking in further, making her question everything about herself. She had always been confident, assured, and now, she wasn’t even sure where to find her feet.
He just wasn’t him anymore, and definitely not who she thought she married. And she felt like she couldn’t be her normal, cheerful, upbeat self – like he had stripped her of that.
He didn’t yell at her son the way he yelled at her. He provided for him, and was willing to take on some sort of fatherly role – when he was around, at least. Mostly, he just ignored the boy. It seemed like he had tried, for a while, but it turned out they didn’t really have all that much in common. There wasn’t a real connection between them, and the boy needed a father.
She fidgeted in her chair while she waited for her appointment, and weighed the pro-con list in her head as she stared at the wall and re-crossed her legs the other direction.
She wasn’t even planning to do anything. Not yet, at least. She just thought she should explore her options, just in case, so she could do what was best for her. And her son.
Money would be tight, but she and the boy had survived alone before, and they could do it again. She wasn’t excited about getting back into the dating world, especially since she would also have to look for a father for her son. She had thought she had found that man, that they would be together forever. But she wasn’t happy, and she wasn’t even sure he loved her anymore.
Maybe there was someone else out there who would do everything he could to make her and her son happy. Maybe she should just start over and cut her losses.
At least after the appointment, she would know what her options were, and once she had all the information in front of her, she could make an informed decision.
*Fiction