(Over)thoughts

Learning,
   but at a weird
               in-between
               stage.

For the most part,
     junior highers tend to be
               uncoordinated and
               awkward.
Their limbs are growing too fast
     for them to handle,
        so they seem to lose gross motor skills
                  for a time
             and bump into stuff
                  everywhere.
They have a hard time
     paying attention to, well, pretty much
                  anything.

I worked with junior highers
          when I was in college.
There was something so fun and raw
     about that stage of life:
          the attempt to figure everything out,
          the glaring insecurity,
          the amazingness of so many new things,
          the ignorance of even more and
          the a-ha bulb lighting up all over the place
                          like fireflies.

When I think about how awkward I was
     when I was in junior high,
               I cringe
                wince
                recoil,
         eventually laugh and
                shake my head
                      at the absurdity.

But then the a-ha firefly lit up
     and the puzzle pieces started to put themselves together
               in front of me.

(I think) I loved those kids so much
     and could identify with them so well
          because in many ways,
                         I am still an awkward junior higher.

Sure, I’m an adult –
     but I bump into everything,
            trip on things that aren’t there,
            talk toofastsometimes and
                  too       slow        others,
            overshare and
            undershare,
                 trying to figure out the balance
                      with different people
                      and myself,
            and I’m still trying to make sense
                 of the world and
                    the mess
                           in my head.