Asking for what I need
seems selfish.
Needing something
that is just
for me
outside of
what is generally expected
or assumed
from everyone else
seems like special treatment
that I don’t deserve
over anyone else.
I hate needing something different,
but I can’t just force myself
to not need it.
I was prepared
with bullet points
specifics
options
alternatives
and
possible responses
to potential issues.
I was even prepared
with backup
for a next conversation
if this one didn’t go so well.
Looking for a good opportunity,
I waited,
watching.
When I saw my chance,
I forced myself to restart the conversation
again
and it was received
openly and
graciously.
I didn’t have to start
back at the beginning.
I didn’t have to defend myself
or try to hold my ground.
In the end,
more was granted
than I even asked for.
Things are not only resolved
now,
they are resolved
long-term.
I was suddenly
out of the holding pattern
that kept me from
moving past this,
and I let out a huge breath
that I have probably been
holding in
for at least the last year.
I left grateful,
and with a greater respect,
and I am glad that I can finally
mark this conversation off
as completed.