I don’t know
if it will be beneficial
helpful
useful
to anyone,
but (I think)
maybe
it’s time to let go.
Could He use me
more?
Could He use more
of me?
I have no idea
what He could do
might do or
will do
through me,
but (I think) I need
to just get out of the way
and let Him do it.
I don’t even know for sure
if it is a gift, exactly.
But it is something
I can do
and enjoy
doing.
So maybe defining it
doesn’t actually matter –
even if that drives me
crazy.
If it is an actual ability, then
He must have given it to me (Psalm 139:13),
even if it may not be
officially categorized
as spiritual (Romans 12:6-8, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11).
It had to come from somewhere
something
someone.
My friend asked
what I was afraid of
specifically.
I didn’t – and I don’t –
have an actual answer
for that question,
at least not one
that is purely logical,
with evidence
to back up
my feelings.
But I love her
for asking
and
challenging me on it,
because (I think)
even though she didn’t say it
out loud,
she said it
implicitly:
At some point, I need to just
jump
in.
If He has given me something
and I don’t use it,
or only use it
limitedly,
that may be worse
than anything I fear
about using it (Luke 19:13-26).
Maybe
somehow
He not only can use it,
but multiply it (Matthew 16:9-10)
if
I am willing to put it out there,
risk it
and invest it
in Him.