I couldn’t stop
shaking,
could not force myself
to
calm
down.
I was trembling
B I G
freaking out,
sweating,
mouth dry,
clenching my fists
hard
into themselves.
Even though I had time
to prepare,
my automatic
autonomic nervous system
was beyond
nervous.
I am thankful
I was able to make notes
beforehand,
so maybe I’m just glad
I’m a nerd.
I thought I might throw up
or black out, and
I felt like
my voice
was s
h
a
k
y,
but I spoke up
anyway.
I hate
that I can’t just speak
like an actual person sometimes,
but I do appreciate
being given the chance
to voice my ideas –
at least when they are good
(I think).
Mostly, I am just
relieved
that it is finally
over.