Amateur

Everything seems
               switched
               upside-down
               backward
               twisted.

I am
    an amateur.
I am
    new at this.

I am
    the beginner.

It’s probably
     not as big a deal
          as it is in my head
             and in every thought
             that enters my head.

I am not always so great at rejection
                                   or critique
                                   or criticism
                                   or entirely being ignored
                     when I finally put myself      out there.

I am aware
      of all that I have a difficult time with.

Am I
     overthinking this?

It seems
             different
                   being on the      other end.

I am even more
                     out of place
                          than usual.