Sometimes I think
I see people –
what they want to be seen
and what they may not intend to.
I can empathize
identify
or at least
slightly understand
in some small way.
Other times,
I wonder if I have some mental disorder
because I am so completely socially awkward.
I may react poorly
or completely wrong to something,
thinking 5 steps ahead
or 10 behind
and I don’t actually end up making
any sense.
Or I can’t translate what’s in my head
into words
or even make
actual
words
come out of my mouth.
I just stumble over them,
and have to keep
starting over
like I never actually learned to talk.
Even if I did understand or
completely get
what the person said
thought
meant,
I can’t actually communicate that
effectively
and we have to start over anyway.