I ruminate
replay
rewind, then
repeat things
over
and
over
when my brain just takes off
on its own course,
imagining a what if scenario
and the possible outcomes
of different decisions
conversations
detours.
It’s not like I can change anything – past
now
future.
Some essences of stories are there,
but they aren’t clean
clear or
complete.
Still, my mind keeps going
keeps pushing
keeps going back
in different directions,
as I try to figure out
what I’m supposed to do with
what’s in front of me.
I’m not even sure
there’s anything to find,
but that logic
doesn’t stop
calm
or slow down what’s in my head.
Am I looking for something
significant?
Or trying to find a story
that doesn’t exist?