Wedged

It’s hard to see past the time,
                   past the friends who have left before –
                         who just
                                 dropped
                                 off the grid
                         when I thought
                              we had more.

Unable to reach up           out          into the future,
       I am left behind,
                     wedged
       between logic and love,
                     with arms tied.
But it’s selfish –
          this deserted feeling –
     because it’s not about me;
          it’s about
               who’s leaving.

I don’t want fate to decide
     to leave me drowning
                      swirling
                      spinning
     or let the past determine
               the outcome
               or the ending.
The details seem      staggering;
          I can’t wade through them.
     But I believe we are stronger
               and this
                    is not the end.