Saltshaker

I can’t just turn feelings off
          as if they never existed,
     or pretend like they weren’t
                     logical
               to feel in the first place.

I was probably overreacting
                     overthinking it
                     being petty.
But logic wasn’t absent;
    it was linked
               to.every.feeling.

I felt like my dream
            my future
       was being                pulled
          from underneath me,
               yet somehow
                     I was still standing,
                         like a
                               w
                                   o
                                   b
                               b
                                    l
                                   i
                                n
                                      g
                            saltshaker
                                 suddenly losing its tablecloth –
                                        while the table
                                        and most of the things on it
                                                       never
                                                       moved.

It was never mine,
     but it felt like it was stolen
                             while I watched
                                       every
                                       move.

After some distance of time,
          I can see
               it wasn’t my dream,
                    but it had a similar shape.
                              (I think.)

I’m not even sure what my dream is, exactly.
     I only get sporadic
                      inklings
                           of what it could be.

But just before the shape of it disappeared,
          it seemed close
                    and                               unreachable.