Faceless

My friend was two days shy of the end of her first trimester.

I have no idea what to say to her or her husband.
It hurt to hear and
          I feel completely helpless.

The list of married couples I know who haven’t experienced a miscarriage may actually be smaller than those who have. It’s at least bordering on even.

But every time hurts
     because each child
                    was already loved.

Having to experience this must be impossibly hard in itself, but having to explain it to others afterward seems like such a cruel double blow – especially when it follows someone innocently asking how Mom is doing or when the due date is.

I grieve for my friends
     because their loss
          is so much
                    heavier
               than those few small pounds.

Some have already named their kids,
                           bought new cars
                           or painted rooms.
               Now those empty rooms
                                          scream
                                   at them with silence,
                        and those names feel somehow
                                         misplaced.

I don’t understand God in this. (Not that I ever do.) But regardless of what you may believe about science or God, or how they intertwine, science does not offer comfort here. Biology is cold; it teaches that these parents aren’t even parents yet, and their children aren’t even children.

But God saw us
     before we were formed.
He created us
     and wove each of us together (Psalm 139:15-16).

It may not help with the why, but I think it does help (a little)
          knowing who these children are –
                             because they matter.
               Until we can see them someday, after our life here,
                     they remain faceless to us,
                               but they will never be faceless
                                          to Him.