The room seemed to be waiting too.
Walls were painted, pictures of swinging monkeys were hung. Dresser, changing table and an empty crib – they waited.
She stood in the doorway for what felt like hours, but it was probably only a few minutes.
Once they had made their decision, they breezed through every step: agency, classes, proofing the entire house – every outlet, every cupboard – the home study, letters, their book they would show.
And then there was silence.
Were they too strict with their requirements? Did they have too many? No, her husband told her. No, the social worker reminded her.
Probably not even born yet, he – or she – was out there somewhere.
She wondered if that could actually be true, but quickly forced those thoughts out of her head and flicked that single tear out of her eyelash.
No matter how hard she tried to not let her heart go too far, get her hopes up too high, she had to admit they both loved this baby they had never even met already. So this not happening was not an option.
She felt like she prayed the same short prayer every time. Please.
When she tried to read her Bible, she would lose concentration. Until she came across Hannah. Hannah asked – and God heard. Then Elizabeth. Elizabeth lost hope – but God heard.
They had not been able to conceive, but God would hear them anyway. She knew, even if she couldn’t fully believe it. And God would hear that baby who needed a home. That was easier to believe.
As she stared into the room, she could hear the rocking chair on the wood floor, with the small creaks and shifting wood. Through the slats in the crib, there was a small cry, like a distant echo in a foggy dream.
She caught herself smiling for a second when she felt the cat rub against her leg as he trotted into the room. He sniffed the rocking chair and the diaper bag on the floor next to it, then curled up on the rug in front of the changing table.
She breathed in loudly, and quietly laughed through her nose as she walked toward him, scooted him out of the room and shut the door.
For Sara, Jason and Baby.
*Fiction