I forgot how much I enjoyed being a student.
Sitting in class, taking notes, reading and highlighting the textbook.
Sure I doodled in the margins, but I loved the learning.
Yes, I’m a nerd.
What I don’t miss about being a student are the tests – and the money. If I could go back to school and not have to take any tests, and not have to pay such an insane amount for it, there is a very good chance I would do it.
I could study all the things I wanted to when I was in college. All the things I never got the chance to try.
The money weighed down my decisions. And so did my GPA, which apart from some yellow cord I wore at graduation, has never mattered since.
Not that all that work was worthless. It was an accomplishment. I guess.
I just think I could have enjoyed it more. I could have taken some chances. I could have tried some classes that I may have really loved.
Art – Mixed Media, Portraits or Pencil Rendering.
Existentialist Philosophy.
Criminology – Everything.
But I was focused on graduating and high grades.
Intro to advanced, the classes I took had to count toward the degree, so the money would be well spent. Because I was given scholarships that I had to live up to, and my savings were depleting rapidly.
There is something to be said for degrees in History or Philosophy or Art.
They may not add up to a job in that field later, but I would have loved to have that strong interest in something then and delve into it. To have some underlying significance in what I might do with my life, even if it meant not getting a job right after graduation, which I didn’t anyway.
I would have liked to explore more, try more, enjoy more. Not just push myself into getting a degree.
Which is where Academy comes in – a six-semester class at our church where we study the Bible and theology.
Attending class now is so different.
I like letting the teaching soak in, and tracing the different edges of it all to decide if I agree or disagree. I love that I am learning more about the Bible I have read for years, and have a little more understanding of now. And I like figuring how to apply the text to my life.
I still keep up with all the homework, because something in me just has to.
But I am learning to be okay with letting go – a little – and sometimes listening to the podcast later instead of having perfect attendance.
And I can enjoy it, because it is for my edification.
And there are no tests.