Least

“My Least Favorite Things”*
A Parody

Big crowds and mingling and public speaking
Car accidents, asthma attacks and not breathing
Driving in snow and snowy anything
These are a few of my least favorite things

Dentists and doctors and bowel preps and surgeries
Hospitals, gowns, waiting rooms and large needles
Nausea, anesthesia, medical anything
These are a few of my least favorite things

Timed tests and pressure to answer and snakes
Lies from friends, abuse, homicide and rape
Forced to shut up with no hope for helping
These are a few of my least favorite things

Dusting knickknacks
The DMV
Printers make me mad
I just recall my least favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

Big crowds and mingling and public speaking
Car accidents, asthma attacks and not breathing
Driving in snow and snowy anything
These are a few of my least favorite things

Dentists and doctors and bowel preps and surgeries
Hospitals, gowns, waiting rooms and large needles
Nausea, anesthesia, medical anything
These are a few of my least favorite things

Timed tests and pressure to answer and snakes
Lies from friends, abuse, homicide and rape
Forced to shut up with no hope for helping   
These are a few of my least favorite things

Dresses and lace
Too little caffeine
Printers drive me mad
I just recall my least favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

 

*Based on: “My Favorite Things,” Music by Richard Rodgers, Lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II ©1959