I see God there – for other people.
Guiding.
Healing.
Caring.
But the rest of the time, I wonder where He is.
Is He like an elusive shooting star that I can’t see if I look for it straight on? That I can only (maybe) see in my peripheral vision? With the rods but not the cones?*
Other people see Him in a parking space
or chamomile tea
or a potato chip.
I believe He is everywhere. He created everything.
But I do not believe He is in everything or everything is God, like a pantheist** or gnostic*** would, not to be confused with an agnostic**** who thinks you can't know if He exists in the first place.
My chips are just chips.
I’m thankful to have them, but they’re chips.
And as convenient as a parking space may be, it seems so trivial
so minor.
Am I limiting my view of Him if I ask for one?
Maybe it depends on whether it is Black Friday or not.
I want to believe He is in every part of my life. Every detail. (Except maybe the bad ones. It’d be okay if He disregarded – or erased – those.)
I believe He can do anything.
And I don’t know why He won’t do some (okay, numerous) things. But He’s not a little genie I can rub to get what I want, or need even. He’s so much bigger than that.
He is bigger than all the stupid, trivial things. And bigger than the big things too. He’s big enough that I could never even comprehend Him. No matter how hard I try.
But I don’t know where that line is.
Am I trivial?
Because I see Him guiding
healing
caring for
other people…
* Georgia State University (GSU) HyperPhysics: “If you see a dim star in your peripheral vision, it may disappear when you look at it directly…You can detect motion better with your peripheral vision, since it is primarily rod vision.”
** Pantheism.net: "(all=god)."
*** The Gnosis Archive: Resources on Gnosticism and Gnostic Tradition: “…all is God, for all consists of the substance of God.”
**** What Is an Agnostic? by Bertrand Russell: "An agnostic thinks it impossible to know the truth in matters such as God and the future life…Or, if not impossible, at least impossible at the present time."