Trivial

I see God there – for other people.
                Guiding.
                Healing.
                Caring.

But the rest of the time, I wonder where He is.

Is He like an elusive shooting star that I can’t see if I look for it straight on? That I can only (maybe) see in my peripheral vision? With the rods but not the cones?*

Other people see Him in a parking space
                                  or chamomile tea
                                  or a potato chip.

I believe He is everywhere. He created everything.

But I do not believe He is in everything or everything is God, like a pantheist** or gnostic*** would, not to be confused with an agnostic**** who thinks you can't know if He exists in the first place.

My chips are just chips.
I’m thankful to have them, but they’re chips.

And as convenient as a parking space may be, it seems so trivial
                                                                              so minor.
     Am I limiting my view of Him if I ask for one?
               Maybe it depends on whether it is Black Friday or not.

But I doubt it.

I want to believe He is in every part of my life. Every detail. (Except maybe the bad ones. It’d be okay if He disregarded – or erased – those.)

I believe He can do anything.

And I don’t know why He won’t do some (okay, numerous) things. But He’s not a little genie I can rub to get what I want, or need even. He’s so much bigger than that.

He is bigger than all the stupid, trivial things. And bigger than the big things too. He’s big enough that I could never even comprehend Him. No matter how hard I try.

But I don’t know where that line is.

Am I trivial?

Because I see Him guiding
                         healing
                         caring for
                                    other people…

 

* Georgia State University (GSU) HyperPhysics: “If you see a dim star in your peripheral vision, it may disappear when you look at it directly…You can detect motion better with your peripheral vision, since it is primarily rod vision.”

** Pantheism.net: "(all=god)."

*** The Gnosis Archive: Resources on Gnosticism and Gnostic Tradition: “…all is God, for all consists of the substance of God.”

**** What Is an Agnostic? by Bertrand Russell: "An agnostic thinks it impossible to know the truth in matters such as God and the future life…Or, if not impossible, at least impossible at the present time."