People who know only the fringes of me sometimes think
I don’t ever participate
or I’m shy.
Or if they really have no idea who I am at all,
they might think I’m defiant in some way
because I don’t follow the crowd
or because I don’t want to stand on a stage
in front of a lot of people
and talk about myself,
because I don’t want to stand on a stage
in front of a lot of people
(unless – maybe – I am playing a character),
because I don’t want to talk about myself
in front of a lot of people.
I will have fingers left on the second hand if I count the people I know who would be okay doing any of those things. There would be most left on the first, except I happen to know a handful of public speakers.
I may fit into that noncompliant bracket for this.
But by definition only.
Maybe
I’m the only one
who will speak up
for myself – and for those who are afraid to.
The different responses have been funny
strange
and not so strange.
There is the one
who is upset that I think – and sometimes do things – differently.
And there are the many
who high-five me and smile, trying not to laugh out loud.
And those who almost cry – or do –
when they privately thank me later for speaking up
when they feel like they couldn’t.
I am starting to see a pattern.
And it has been interesting
and a little unreal to find out
that when I do speak up,
I actually have a lot more – silent – supporters
than I knew about.