Sometimes my thoughts are (too) loud.
They (over)take me in
pull me
push me
into a corner
box me in.
Sometimes it’s hard to separate the thoughts.
They spiderweb
spin
twist into each other.
And when my thoughts are too loud,
I tend to play more music
turn the TV up louder
do anything to dull the noise
enough
to handle it.
Can’t sleep
rest
relax – because it’s all so loud.
Impossible circle.
When I do try to be quiet
still
wait and listen,
there is so much chatter
so much noise
inside my head.
No clarity.
I sift through the noise for something real.
But it smothers me
drowns me
anyway.
I end up waiting (forever) with no answers.
And the volume of the chaos increases.
But what if I cut off the real line of communication
because everything else is so loud?
What if I end up tuning out
what I actually need to hear?